Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
