considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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