woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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