I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
