What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
