He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
