I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
