I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
