I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I came so hard my ears popped.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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