i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
