His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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