I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
we made out on top of his cat.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
