i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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