Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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