hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
