What a fucking waste of an outfit
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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