can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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