Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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