if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I wish you could order shots online.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
