Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
