so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
