I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
