just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
