just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
