You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize