The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
