Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
