also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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