big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize