I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
