We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
