Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Ketchup is God's man juice
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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