someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
