For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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