Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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