I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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