It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
