I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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