Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You're earring is so big in my mouth
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
