she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
