Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
