Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
