We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
