Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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