oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
