I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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