Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
did i walk over a car last night?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
