I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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