I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
