I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
