Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
