Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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